Tell Me About It…

Lately, for one reason or another, I’ve had this strange desire to really learn – and I d72f77ab7a20b7baabe380fafbf9e7acmean REALLY learn – how to open up and very boldly, but sweetly, speak my truth.  This is both in information and stories that I decide to share or simply trying to communicate a thought, idea, or feeling with another.  As I mentioned in my last post regarding communication, I have an extremely hard time with this.  This is mostly because I’m so consumed with how I feel the listener will receive what I put on the table – whether they will approve or agree, what they will think of me, what will happen as a result etc.  As I have continued to meditate on this, this feeling has only grown stronger.  I was honestly hoping that if I just zip my lips and breathe that the feeling to share/express would dwindle away…but, nope.

Ok, so this post is not about me all of a sudden deciding to share EVERYTHING, but it is an open door, to both share as well as receive.  In addition to exploring ways in which to express myself through verbal communication, I also had an epiphany…

Imagine this…

As the sharer, what if you did not assume the outcome of the information you decide to open up with?  Imagine that the person you’re opening up to DOES in fact understand, or can relate with what you share.  It makes the experience of sharing a hell of a lot less scary, because when you feel as if you’re alone, or you feel the person in front of you couldn’t possibly understand what you’re going through, or have been through, it makes it that much harder to talk about.  So imagine that the listener has been parallel with you this whole time, through all of your experiences.

As the listener, what if you did not assume that you understood or could relate to what the speaker is sharing with you (reread that question for a minute to absorb)?  Imagine how much more compassionate your presence could be to the person sharing if you did NOT premeditate how that person was handling their experience.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s an absolutely wonderful and empathetic thing to be able to place yourself in someone’s shoes in order to try and understand.  However, that tactic is most helpful as a physical practice to do on your own rather than a listening practice to do with another person.  We may have had similar experiences as one another, or even different experiences that arise the same emotions, but we ALL go through stuff differently (“how deep is the mud? depends on how tall the person is that is standing in it that you ask.“).

So how about this…b2062e4e028c2e4bb8f3f9e8f8b292dd

As the listener, don’t assume to know what the speaker is going through.  As the speaker, don’t assume that the listener wouldn’t understand or couldn’t relate with what you decide to express and/or share.

How much more would we communicate with one another?  How would it physically change the WAY in which we communicate?  It’s a beautiful thing to be unapologetically raw, to know that what you see is exactly what you get.  Don’t be afraid to ask, don’t be afraid to share.