When you ask me about my faith…

Every Sunday I see people filing in through those front doors
Got a cross up on that steeple, yeah it’s time to praise the Lord
Some watch it on their TV, sittin’ on the couch
Me, I get in my old Bronco and point those headlights out

Oh, ain’t got too many miles to go, to save my soul

Hey I go down and sink my feet in the water
And I soak up that sun and I watch it set
Yeah, I can feel the power of the saltwater gospel
I’m as close to God as I can get

Now there ain’t nothing wrong with puttin’ on your Sunday best
Me, I won’t be wearin’ nothin’ that I can’t get wet
I just think about how small I am and life after we’re gone
I’m out here by myself

But I know I’m not alone
Yeah, I got all the proof I need
And it sure makes me believe

When I go down and sink my feet in the water
And I soak up that sun and I watch it set
Yeah, I can feel the power of the saltwater gospel
I’m as close to God as I can get

Amen
I’m in heaven watchin’ all these waves roll in
Amen

When I’m lost I know where to get found again
Yeah I go down and sink my feet in the water
And I soak up that sun and I watch it set
Yeah, I can feel the power of the saltwater gospel
I’m as close to God as I can get

Yeah I go down and sink my feet in the water
And I soak up that sun and I watch it set
Yeah, I can feel the power of the saltwater gospel
I’m as close to God as I can get

Every breath we drew was “Hallelujah”

Almost exactly one year ago, I was lead through an experience that completely brought to light where I truly was with my spirit, and I was shocked at what came up.  This song was what lead me (us) into the experience…Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley.  Every time I hear the song, it reminds me of how far I’ve come since then and what my spirit has been able to endure.  I feel a soft strength within me whenever I sit and listen to it, and it’s there for me whenever I need that gentle reminder.  I also believe that whenever it may come up without me prompting it to means that there is something in my life going on that needs that same reminder, as it just did…

So about the experience…a workshop was hosted called Qoya that mixes dance with yoga (an obvious draw to anyone that knows me even just a little bit).  One of the last parts of this workshop was this particular experience.  We were asked to start at the back of our mats, heels touching the edge.  We were then given the entire song to move from the back of our mat to the front in complete free movement, with encouragement to close our eyes as to keep the experience internal and without judgement.  However, there was a catch to this…your movement was to reflect the last year of your life.

So at the time when this workshop happened, my life had recently done a complete 180.  Unfortunately this particular shift had put many questions and doubts into my head and had brought up A LOT of very unpleasant feelings; nothing about that last year (and for a long time before then) held space for anything I wanted to look back at, and asking me to revisit this was something I was by no means ready to do, nor did I want to at all.  But, just like life had done, the music started and you just had to move forward.

I found my heels completely glued to my mat…I was totally frozen and almost immediately began to cry.  I physically placed the command in my head, “left foot, lift,” and got no response from my foot.  I had brought myself back to that year earlier and couldn’t find it in myself to move.  Everything in me was heavy and sad.  I remember feeling like it was impossible to find movement.  I was scared at what would happen, physically, emotionally, spiritually etc.  All I knew was the back of my mat.  My insides literally shook and I quietly sobbed.  After having to probe myself repeatedly with commands, my foot peeled off my mat and stepped forward and then almost immediately returned backwards.  This happened several times…two steps forward, one step back.  I think it was about halfway that I just dropped down to my mat.  I felt exhausted at the pull I was experiencing and really did NOT want to keep moving.  I had to remind myself that this moment was NOT the same moment as a year ago, that this was just my mat, that this space was safe.  With the same confidence that I found in myself in consciously leaving behind what had held me back a year before, I stood up and began moving forward, this time without stepping backwards.  When I found this, my movement become larger and lighter.  By the time I had reached the top of my mat, I felt totally free and in my power.  I felt complete, relieving happiness.  I was so surprised how difficult I found the whole experience to be.  I did not realize how terrified I was to fall back to where I had been.  I also had not known that at the time (the year before) that I had felt as if I could not move from where I was, that where I was was the only thing I knew and the only place I could be.

Almost 2 years later, I hear this song and it gives me the same reminder.  Stand in your power…know your worth.  And today, I needed this.

I do hope that if you’ve read my entry up to this point that you’ve considered the gentle reminders in your life that may provide you the same type of comforts and strength.  I hope that these tools are just as accessible to you as a song.  And most importantly, I hope that if you can (unfortunately) relate to anything in this entry at all, that you too have found your power.

“…and you don’t look back for anything”

I think I have heard from almost every person that has been a part of the last several years of my life that they have seen a drastic change in how I handle situations that arise in my life, both the welcome and the unwelcome.  I can recall feeling like I had no control, having no choice about the position I was in…being aware of my circumstances and yet feeling torn between heart and morals, love and lessons, and knowing the difference.  At certain points once you move ahead in your life, there are some days when you robotically move forward with your day just because you just accept that there is no other direction to go.  You find that “fake it til you make it” is your best bet – be OK out loud until is becomes real.  Here’s the really difficult part though…

It’s so hard to move away from your past.  Even when you physically can remove yourself, there are always still things that remind you of things that create tangled webs of memories in your head that the only way to rid yourself of is with distraction.  Lets just face the facts – no matter how terrible these memories are, they still exist.  The healing process from our pasts can be very intense and require A LOT of our energy, sometimes so much so that it is exhausting. The predicament with this though is that if you did not learn your lesson the first time, you can absolutely expect it to come around again.  So as painful as it may be, making sure to learn and heal properly from your experiences is probably one of the best things you can do for yourself.

So how do we move on in a positive light while unwillingly carrying these memories with us?

Now I definitely don’t think I have all the answers, and what I may offer might not even work for you; I could be totally wrong.  But I also believe that if you find something that has made such a profound impact on your life, it’s your job to share it, and those that need it or want it will find it…but you have to put it out there.

#1  MAKE A CONSCIOUS DECISION TO NO LONGER FEED IT

cccc95d90c482d7ae3618d492f625216Whoever or whatever it was that hurt you, do not give it ANY more of your attention.  Remember why it was that you let it go and then really, truly let it go.  When it knocks on your door, do not open it.  There is no need to question yourself or revisit your previous excuses and/or explanations to try and somehow validate it in the present moment.  Do not hurt yourself by even wondering.  Most of the time we find ourselves responding and/or revisiting this because we feel we have more to say, that we were never really heard.  This is a really hard feeling to ignore, and you don’t necessarily have to ignore it, just don’t feed this to the other person; you don’t need to keep it going.

#2  UNDERSTAND THAT THE HEAD AND THE HEART WILL FEUD

If this turn of events in your life meant anything to you, you’ll find yourself constantly submerged in the chitter-chatter of the conversation between the head and the heart.  We are masters at finding excuses for things in order to avoid feelings of discomfort or emptiness.  It’s important to allow these head-heart talks to happen because it will raise your consciousness.  However – this is probably the only time you would hear me say this – you must pay attention to your head voice.  This is the voice of reason, what is practical, directing attention to what is actually there, similar to if you were to ask advice from a neutral third party.  I promise you that your heart is going to want to go back, and it’s going to find every reason to.  I believe this is because your heart has very deep roots and when it connects to some thing/one to that depth, it creates an invisible energetic string that ties you to it.  Therefore, your heart almost will feel betrayal and will not want to believe that this was a real thing that happened.  It takes time to disconnect before the heart no longer responds in pain.

#3  FIND A WAY TO SAY “THANK YOU”

It hurts and it sucks and you might not see how to just yet, but even if you have to grit your71f3d480ac4ae8695f195e7a15a10b7d teeth or cry, say “thank you.”  I promise you, this will become easier.  Do not speak words of negativity against yourself, do not curse the series of events, and most importantly, do not wish ill on those that have been directed into your life to teach you something.  Instead, direct your attention into what you DO have.

#4  FORGIVE AND FORGET

This was the first thing I had to learn in my healing process. I had an immensely difficult time with this one.  I just could not wrap my brain around how to ever really, truly forgive.  I knew that I had to in order to really be able to move forward.  But then I realized that my perception of forgiveness was what was wrong with this part of my healing process.  I always had the impression that forgiveness meant releasing guilt from the other person; I was so, so wrong.  Forgiveness is for yourself.  Forgiveness is when you no longer allow that person or circumstance to have an impact on your spirit.  And it took me a long time to realize that I can forgive you AND forget you.  You do not need to vocalize this to the other person, or to anyone at all, this process is for you.  Forgive what happened to you.

#5  KEEP MOVING FORWARD AND NEVER LOOK BACK

In the beginning, and maybe even for a while, it might feel as though you don’t really know what’s making you move, but all you really know is that your days will rise and set 01210687fde701d30b8d7c1a6eef16a3one after another and that you have to do things in between.  I know for me, it was a numbing sensation, not really knowing what was going to happen next, having to rethink every direction that I thought my life was taking – did I actually even know what I was doing anymore?  And yet, I still had to get up every day and do SOMETHING.  So here’s the thing…even when you don’t feel like it, say yes.  If a friend asks you to go out and you’re feeling too sad that day, just say yes and go.  If you’re presented with the opportunity to take on a small job or volunteer a few of your hours, but you’re just so emotionally exhausted, just say yes and take it.  Put “yes” into the Universe and just see what it hands you.  When you put this together with being able to show gratitude and express forgiveness, you’d be amazed to see the shifts that will take place.  Just allow your feet to move forward and don’t for one second look back at where you were, not even to compare your current self to your past self.  Leave the past in the past; it has already done its job in molding your present self, trust that you don’t need it anymore.

When You Trust In the Universe

10 Beautiful Things That Happen When You Trust In The Universe

The law of attraction is a rather simple law. It’s the use of visualization to manifest the things in life that you want. In order to truly understand it, you must put a lot of work into it. No one is perfect at it, but these are signs you’ve learned to fully understand the laws of attraction.

1. You can see synchronicity.

Synchronicity is a fascinating thing. It is defined as the simultaneous occurrences of events that appear significantly related but don’t have a clear connection. This is the universe trying to send you messages, and if you see it, you’re getting the message.

law of attraction2. Having fun is a top priority.

You can’t hope to have a good, happy life without having some fun.

Hard work is important, but all work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy, right?

3. You don’t carry baggage.

Negative baggage doesn’t serve to do anything for us. It weighs us down and keeps us from reaching our fullest potential. If you’ve left your baggage behind, you’re on the right track.

4. You take time to enjoy life.

It’s all about stopping and smelling the roses. Life isn’t a race. It’s about enjoying each moment and living life fully.

5. You enjoy the company of others.

And it’s not just a superficial thing either. You deeply enjoy the presence of other people. Strangers get a smile and even people you don’t know that well get a hug.

6. You expect great things to happen.shutterstock_381803809

This is a key part of the law of attraction.

You don’t fret about the future and expect the worst to come true.

In fact, you expect the best to come true! It leads you down a path of working hard and getting what you need.

7. You’re thankful.

The universe provides us a bounty, but universe giveth and universe taketh away.

Showing gratitude sends the right kind of energy out into the universe.

8. You keep things positive.

Petty gossip and nasty talk like that has no place in your life and it shouldn’t. Keeping things positive will keep the positive things flowing.

9. You go with the flow.

It’s an important lesson to realize that you, my friend, are not in control of everything. There are things in your life you have sway over, like what you’re doing and who you’re with, but that’s just about it. Go with the flow.

10. You take responsibility for your life and actions.

It’s all you have control over. And if you mess something up, it’s okay to admit it.